Jun 15 2008

The Househusband Diaries – Anything I Can Conceive She Can Achieve!

Published by at 8:16 pm under Partners

I live a very charmed life as a househusband, thanks to a tacit arrangement I entered into when I married my wife, Corporate Babe. Basically, the arrangement works like this: I make the big plans and dream up the big ideas in our family, then my wife works hard to get us all out of financial trouble while making my dreams and plans happen.

I don’t understand the mysterious inner workings of this wonderous power, but the magic never fails to happen. My wife and I don’t even need to join rings and yell out “Shazam” … the magic just happens!

For example, we haven’t had a television set in our household for over 15 years. It doesn’t mean that we are starved for entertainment, though. For the past several years, the family has gathered in my office on Friday and Saturday nights, where we all sit on uncomfortable plastic green chairs watching DVDs on our desktop computer screen.

A few months ago, I came across a picture I liked in a magazine of a lavish home theater setup. I cut out the picture and pinned it to the noticeboard in my office. My wife came home a few weeks later and announced that she had been awarded a 42″ flat screen high definition TV in recognition for her performance at work. On the same week that the giant TV screen arrived in our home, my Father-in-Law found a great lounge unit for us at a local church rummage sale on sale for only $15.

The Home Theater Setup has been manifested! Our lifestyle at home has now shot up to a whole new level of enjoyment. The kids love watching their movies on the big screen at home on a comfortable lounge and so do Corporate Babe and I.

Best of all, Corporate Babe agreed with my suggestion that we should not risk leaving the big tv screen unit at the mercy of the kids, and that we should install it, therefore, here in my office, connected to our PC, which has the built-in DVD player we use to watch movies with.

Now, I have the largest computer screen in the world to work from (another secret dream I’ve had!). All I need next, is a wireless keyboard, and I’ll then be able to work from the couch instead of my old office chair (Along with the wireless keyboard, I also need to find a picture of a leather-backed executive office chair to pin up on my noticeboard soon – the chair I usually sit on is really doing my back in!).

I don’t recommend this magical arrangement to all couples, though. The approach of me dreaming big and my wife then giving her all to help manifest these dreams while we struggle desperately between manifestations, however, tends to exact quite a heavy price, particularly in the area of our health. I think out of the two of us, though, I got off the lightest – just an ulcer, some bleeding hemorrhoids, a consistently bad temper and a few uncontrollable nervous facial ticks. My wife has developed a lot of grey hairs, which did not exist on her head before I gave her my hand in marriage.

I’m not being facetious here … I really dislike the idea that, being the incurable dreamer that I am, whose spectacular grandiose ideas seldom turn out to be successful or even remotely profitable, I am alone responsible for continuously exhausting and prematurely aging my beautiful wife.

Which is why I haven’t yet pinned on my office noticeboard the picture I cut out from a recent issue of Fortune 500 of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett relaxing inside the Microsoft founder’s private Boeing Business Jet. I think I’ll just wait for Corporate Babe to find us a new home on some acreage first, so we can stop renting. After we clear the credit card debt, of course!

The Lazy Househusband


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