Oct 02 2007

Spending A Long Weekend With The Kids Can Make The Weekend Longer!

Yesterday, Corporate Babe and I took the boys out to a large park for a picnic with one of Filosofo’s school friends (“The Scientist”) and his parents. The boys spent hours running around playing, exploring and having fun under the hot sun.

Corporate Babe and I just kept winking at each other, knowing that by late afternoon, the boys would be all passed out and we would be able to spend a quiet night together.

Of course, youth defies the physical laws of nature. The boys just seemed to keep going and going, while Corporate Babe and I sunk deeper with exhaustion into our chairs, waiting for the moment when the house would finally come to a standstill.

We finally got our peace and quiet, but by then, all we had time to do was play a couple of quick games on our computers (me: tetris, her: bubble breaker), before it was time for us to also drag our tired selves to bed.

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For the past four days, I have been engineering a major house cleanup. I even divided the family into two teams: Team Pickup and Team Clothes. I then gave Corporate Babe first choice and she picked Team Clothes. So I was stuck with the task of picking up all the toys, rubbish, empty food and snack wrappers, half-drunk boxes of Up’n’Go and all the other debris that has accumulated around the house for the past week or so (mostly the work of Destructo).

Needless to say, I haven’t done a thing yet! Filosofo, my pick-up buddy tidied up the living room under my wife’s supervision, while I focused all of my energy and efforts into beating my own personal best high score at Tetris.

Corporate Babe got the kids clothes sorted out, but not the main pile of clothing spread all over our bedroom. So I feel justified in not doing my part also, especially since she took the day off work today and is now at the library with the kids, getting them all a library membership, while I am left here, all alone at home, waiting for the right time of day to show itself so I can seize the opportunity to achieve some of my household objectives and get things done.

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One last thing before I forget …

This morning, Destructo announced he found a little dead baby bird on the back porch. Being the sensitive soul that I am, I walked out onto the porch, picked up the unfortunate little creature with a latex glove, then dumped the bird and the glove into a paper bag and was walking out the front door, when Destructo came up behind me and guessing what I was about to do, said “Are you just going to throw the little birdy in the rubbish bin?”

Well, that changed everything didn’t it? I thought about all the little poor creatures that had died whilst under my care and protection during my childhood years … hamsters, dogs, goldfish, cactii, illegal weeds, etc … and decided that I couldn’t let a three year old child see me dispose of a tiny little soul in such a callous and matter-of-fact fashion.

So I turned to Destructo and said “No, dear … I was just going to look for a nice, quiet little place to bury him. Do you want to come and help me bury the little birdy?”

The expression on Destructo’s face immediately changed. He got really excited and ran off downstairs to find some earth digging implements. This attracted the immediate attention of Exacto, who came running shortly afterwards yelling “can I dig up some dirt too?” I told him he could and asked him to go and pick some flowers for the little grave we were going to dig. Only Filosofo didn’t seem to be bothered to want to participate in the funereal procession.

Corporate Babe and I then scouted the backyard looking for a decent little avian burial plot. We couldn’t find any, so we walked around to the front of the house, followed by two very excited little diggers with their yellow beach scoops and shovels.

We finally found a little spot around one of the trees in the front yard and we began to loosen up the soil. Once Exacto and Destructo had scooped out enough soil from the ground, we laid the little bird down to rest.

I told Exacto to throw in the flowers, but Corporate Babe said we should place the flowers on the little grave after burying the bird. I nodded solemly, unaware that I had almost breached convention.

Not knowing the little bird personally, I hesitated to make a eulogy, so I simply asked Exacto to sing one of the songs he has learned at school. Exacto sang a beautiful little song about how the sun helps the little flower seeds to grow. Destructo asked to sing a little song too in homage to the little baby bird. Corporate Babe said ok, go ahead, and he began to improvise an original free-form composition that seemed to me to talk about scooping dirt to make little sand castles in the beach and ended up with something or someone doing a pee.

The ceremony over, we walked back towards the house for a glass of homemade lemonade and some breakfast cereal.

May the little baby birdy rest in peace.

The Lazy Househusband

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